New Year, Same You?

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all made some sort of New Year’s resolution at some point in our lives. For most, it’s the basic “eat better, exercise more”. Sometimes you get more specific with it and have a weight loss goal or commit to ridding off pizza for the year. But if you found yourself reading this, I’m guessing your resolutions either didn’t work, or they did and you’re wondering “what’s next?”. That’s where this post is different than other blogs about resolutions.

Pandemic aside, some people get to December each year and think “man I need to make changes”. I’m not here with any sort of secret on how to get your resolutions to stick, or even what you should focus on. I don’t know your life or your goals, and only you can decide what is important enough to you.

I am here to say that if you look back on your year and realize you’re living a life you don’t like, it’s time for change. And you are the only one who can change it.

This isn’t a tough love speech, this is just one human telling another human that you deserve to live the life you want. You don’t have to, nor should you be unhappy with any facet of your life. I talked about this at length in my very first blog post, and I still think it’s worth reiterating that creating the life you want is a never ending process.

It’s really easy to talk about in theory, I know. If there are big things in your life that need to change, it’s hard to change them. Like a job you don’t like, your neighborhood or living situation, or being in an unhealthy relationship.

But here’s the thing, none of those things happened overnight. They happen over a long period of time, likely years. Most people who aren’t happy with their lives just assume that it is impossible to create a better lifestyle for themselves because it will be too hard. But hard doesn’t equal impossible. After you’ve committed, it’s no longer considered a resolution…it’s just your new life.

It’s typically harder for people in a committed relationship to make major lifestyle changes. If you don’t have the support of your partner, it’s nearly impossible without damaging your relationship. There are plenty of ways to try and get your partner on the same page as you (though none of them should be bribery, blackmail or bullying). If you’re in a relationship and want to make changes, your first order of business should be to talk to your partner about the changes you want to make and have an open conversation about how it will effect your relationship and overall family life.

Having clear expectations of not only the changes you want to make, but also how involved your partner would like to be in these changes will increase your odds of actually making the changes. As the year moves forward, you should re-evaluating the lifestyle changes together to make sure it’s working for your family and figure out if you need to change course at all. It’s also likely that after your partner sees your commitment to a better lifestyle for a few months, they will jump on board and want to make changes as well (though again, you can’t expect, force or bully them to make changes).

I think it was a Rachel Hollis podcast I listened to years ago that had some great advice about how to deal with a partner who doesn’t want to make changes. Of course, this episode I’m referring to was from the old Rise Together podcast that she and her (now separated) husband co-hosted together. The advice was basically that you need to make these life changes for yourself and without expecting that your partner will come along eventually. And having the conversations with them about the changes will help you both process and grow together.

After you’ve had these conversations with your partner, there are many ways you can get started. One of them being my WELL+MAMA+LIFE Online Group Course. A new class is starting on January 4th, 2021 so get registered and commit to starting your change!

This might have sounded like a bunch of general words of wisdom, but what I hope you take away from this is that life is too short to not be happy. Nothing is too big or too small to change, but only you have the power to do it. Each day should be a new opportunity to make a change towards the life you want. Don’t wait until a new year comes around. Don’t wait until something tragic happens and forces change. And don’t forget, you deserve to live the life you want.